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The Hairbag Times
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Recent
Department to replace trial room hearings with 'Smoker' matches
Jan 30, 2019
Department to replace trial room hearings with 'Smoker' matches
Jan 30, 2019

The move is the fairest change to the disciplinary process in decades.

Read More →
Jan 30, 2019
Aviation cop complains about pizza box left in helicopter from previous tour
Jan 9, 2019
Aviation cop complains about pizza box left in helicopter from previous tour
Jan 9, 2019
Read More →
Jan 9, 2019
Newly acquired CRC tank gets flat tire responding to call for emergency photo-op
Dec 26, 2018
Newly acquired CRC tank gets flat tire responding to call for emergency photo-op
Dec 26, 2018

They say pictures tell a thousand words.

Read More →
Dec 26, 2018
Housing cop who shot himself in the hand claims he was 'definitely 100% not negligent'
Dec 14, 2018
Housing cop who shot himself in the hand claims he was 'definitely 100% not negligent'
Dec 14, 2018

This discharge could not have been prevented.

Read More →
Dec 14, 2018
Department announces random testicle inspections to enforce grooming standards
Dec 3, 2018
Department announces random testicle inspections to enforce grooming standards
Dec 3, 2018

It was only a matter of time until they enforced this. 

Read More →
Dec 3, 2018
NCO sees increased muscle mass after using majority of tour to bench press
Nov 15, 2018
NCO sees increased muscle mass after using majority of tour to bench press
Nov 15, 2018

Policing and fitness collide in biblical fashion.

Read More →
Nov 15, 2018
Victoria’s Secret announces it will open a store inside the 72 Precinct
Oct 31, 2018
Victoria’s Secret announces it will open a store inside the 72 Precinct
Oct 31, 2018

Talk about an untapped market.  

Read More →
Oct 31, 2018
Department rethinks using lowest bidder after body cameras explode
Oct 22, 2018
Department rethinks using lowest bidder after body cameras explode
Oct 22, 2018

This really got blown out of proportion.

Read More →
Oct 22, 2018
CRC cop touts DNA test confirming he’s 1% real cop
Oct 18, 2018
CRC cop touts DNA test confirming he’s 1% real cop
Oct 18, 2018

Vindication at last. Or is it?

Read More →
Oct 18, 2018
Borough inspections sergeant finally finds something better to do
Oct 11, 2018
Borough inspections sergeant finally finds something better to do
Oct 11, 2018

After decades of searching, the moment has finally arrived. 

Read More →
Oct 11, 2018
Confusion erupts as HQ security can’t verify if cop in full uniform driving marked RMP is real cop
Sep 28, 2018
Confusion erupts as HQ security can’t verify if cop in full uniform driving marked RMP is real cop
Sep 28, 2018

They thought the moment of truth had arrived.  They were wrong. 

Read More →
Sep 28, 2018
Department will explicitly teach recruits not to break the law
Sep 13, 2018
Department will explicitly teach recruits not to break the law
Sep 13, 2018

Some things just aren’t a given.

Read More →
Sep 13, 2018
Cop torn between social media righteousness and foot comfort
Sep 6, 2018
Cop torn between social media righteousness and foot comfort
Sep 6, 2018

The inner struggle is real.

Read More →
Sep 6, 2018
Mystery illness strikes entire command weekend before J’ouvert
Aug 31, 2018
Mystery illness strikes entire command weekend before J’ouvert
Aug 31, 2018

The greatest medical minds couldn’t diagnose this one.

Read More →
Aug 31, 2018
Hairbags. Always, Hairbags.
Aug 26, 2018
Hairbags. Always, Hairbags.
Aug 26, 2018

Coming soon to a promotion or graduation ceremony near you.

Read More →
Aug 26, 2018
Job mandates ‘tactical mud training’ during qualification cycle
Aug 19, 2018
Job mandates ‘tactical mud training’ during qualification cycle
Aug 19, 2018
Read More →
Aug 19, 2018
'I told you so': Precinct goes to shit while CO on vacation
Aug 16, 2018
'I told you so': Precinct goes to shit while CO on vacation
Aug 16, 2018

His gut told him not to leave. He didn’t listen.

Read More →
Aug 16, 2018
Inspector wins hearts and minds with pre-detail speech
Jul 27, 2018
Inspector wins hearts and minds with pre-detail speech
Jul 27, 2018

True leadership is few and far between.

Read More →
Jul 27, 2018
PBA President assures new recruits ‘taking the hit’ is best possible outcome
Jul 9, 2018
PBA President assures new recruits ‘taking the hit’ is best possible outcome
Jul 9, 2018

There’s apparently only one way to take a CD. From Behind.

Read More →
Jul 9, 2018
Transit Bureau to be disbanded, replaced by TSA agents
Jun 19, 2018
Transit Bureau to be disbanded, replaced by TSA agents
Jun 19, 2018

The shocking move is the largest Departmental reorganization in history.

Read More →
Jun 19, 2018
VIDEO: Headquarters makes shocking announcement
Jun 6, 2018
VIDEO: Headquarters makes shocking announcement
Jun 6, 2018
Read More →
Jun 6, 2018
Department set to replace new iPhone with 1999 era flip-phone
May 24, 2018
Department set to replace new iPhone with 1999 era flip-phone
May 24, 2018

It’s true. What’s old is new again.

Read More →
May 24, 2018
Borough commander obsessed with barriers receives treatment for OCD
May 10, 2018
Borough commander obsessed with barriers receives treatment for OCD
May 10, 2018

Admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery. 

Read More →
May 10, 2018
Department’s IG running out of useless things to write reports on
May 2, 2018
Department’s IG running out of useless things to write reports on
May 2, 2018

 Achievement Unocked: Rock Bottom

Read More →
May 2, 2018
Man Shocked to Learn Neighbor Disciplined for Improper Memobook Entry
Apr 17, 2018
Man Shocked to Learn Neighbor Disciplined for Improper Memobook Entry
Apr 17, 2018

The blog "FuzzBleed" leaked thousands of disciplinary records.

Read More →
Apr 17, 2018
Study reveals it takes more time to shitcan a 61 than to just take the report
Apr 11, 2018
Study reveals it takes more time to shitcan a 61 than to just take the report
Apr 11, 2018

The groundbreaking study had a ripple effect on patrol cops citywide.

Read More →
Apr 11, 2018
Department curves promotional exam to benefit underrepresented group: quality leaders
Mar 26, 2018
Department curves promotional exam to benefit underrepresented group: quality leaders
Mar 26, 2018

The move was done under the table.

Read More →
Mar 26, 2018
Police Commissioner announces mayor will succeed outgoing Chief of Detectives
Mar 21, 2018
Police Commissioner announces mayor will succeed outgoing Chief of Detectives
Mar 21, 2018

This marks the first time an elected official will simultaneously serve as a UMOS.

Read More →
Mar 21, 2018
"Cops don't get snow days", says Brooklyn cop who bangs in during storm
Mar 7, 2018
"Cops don't get snow days", says Brooklyn cop who bangs in during storm
Mar 7, 2018

Nor rain, nor sleet, nor snow...except for cops.

Read More →
Mar 7, 2018
Bronx DA Indicts Cop for Wearing White Socks
Feb 20, 2018
Bronx DA Indicts Cop for Wearing White Socks
Feb 20, 2018

The news had a chilling effect on both policing and footwear. 

Read More →
Feb 20, 2018
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