Recent
CRC cop touts DNA test confirming he’s 1% real cop
CRC cop touts DNA test confirming he’s 1% real cop

Vindication at last. Or is it?

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Borough inspections sergeant finally finds something better to do
Borough inspections sergeant finally finds something better to do

After decades of searching, the moment has finally arrived. 

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Confusion erupts as HQ security can’t verify if cop in full uniform driving marked RMP is real cop
Confusion erupts as HQ security can’t verify if cop in full uniform driving marked RMP is real cop

They thought the moment of truth had arrived.  They were wrong. 

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Department will explicitly teach recruits not to break the law
Department will explicitly teach recruits not to break the law

Some things just aren’t a given.

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Cop torn between social media righteousness and foot comfort
Cop torn between social media righteousness and foot comfort

The inner struggle is real.

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Mystery illness strikes entire command weekend before J’ouvert
Mystery illness strikes entire command weekend before J’ouvert

The greatest medical minds couldn’t diagnose this one.

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Hairbags. Always, Hairbags.
Hairbags. Always, Hairbags.

Coming soon to a promotion or graduation ceremony near you.

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Job mandates ‘tactical mud training’ during qualification cycle
Job mandates ‘tactical mud training’ during qualification cycle
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'I told you so': Precinct goes to shit while CO on vacation
'I told you so': Precinct goes to shit while CO on vacation

His gut told him not to leave. He didn’t listen.

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Inspector wins hearts and minds with pre-detail speech
Inspector wins hearts and minds with pre-detail speech

True leadership is few and far between.

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PBA President assures new recruits ‘taking the hit’ is best possible outcome
PBA President assures new recruits ‘taking the hit’ is best possible outcome

There’s apparently only one way to take a CD. From Behind.

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Transit Bureau to be disbanded, replaced by TSA agents
Transit Bureau to be disbanded, replaced by TSA agents

The shocking move is the largest Departmental reorganization in history.

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VIDEO: Headquarters makes shocking announcement
VIDEO: Headquarters makes shocking announcement
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Department set to replace new iPhone with 1999 era flip-phone
Department set to replace new iPhone with 1999 era flip-phone

It’s true. What’s old is new again.

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Borough commander obsessed with barriers receives treatment for OCD
Borough commander obsessed with barriers receives treatment for OCD

Admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery. 

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Department’s IG running out of useless things to write reports on
Department’s IG running out of useless things to write reports on

 Achievement Unocked: Rock Bottom

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Man Shocked to Learn Neighbor Disciplined for Improper Memobook Entry
Man Shocked to Learn Neighbor Disciplined for Improper Memobook Entry

The blog "FuzzBleed" leaked thousands of disciplinary records.

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Study reveals it takes more time to shitcan a 61 than to just take the report
Study reveals it takes more time to shitcan a 61 than to just take the report

The groundbreaking study had a ripple effect on patrol cops citywide.

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Department curves promotional exam to benefit underrepresented group: quality leaders
Department curves promotional exam to benefit underrepresented group: quality leaders

The move was done under the table.

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Police Commissioner announces mayor will succeed outgoing Chief of Detectives
Police Commissioner announces mayor will succeed outgoing Chief of Detectives

This marks the first time an elected official will simultaneously serve as a UMOS.

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"Cops don't get snow days", says Brooklyn cop who bangs in during storm
"Cops don't get snow days", says Brooklyn cop who bangs in during storm

Nor rain, nor sleet, nor snow...except for cops.

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Bronx DA Indicts Cop for Wearing White Socks
Bronx DA Indicts Cop for Wearing White Socks

The news had a chilling effect on both policing and footwear. 

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Former cadet comes to terms with fact no one gives a shit he was a cadet
Former cadet comes to terms with fact no one gives a shit he was a cadet

Talk about a rude awakening.

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Headquarters Security adds more posts to already useless post list
Headquarters Security adds more posts to already useless post list

Who knew merely pushing buttons was such an ordeal.

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Executive shakeup decided over high-stakes game of Monopoly
Executive shakeup decided over high-stakes game of Monopoly

Looks like several chiefs won’t be passing GO. 

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Precinct custodian makes sergeant list; didn’t even take exam
Precinct custodian makes sergeant list; didn’t even take exam

Everyone and their mother made it. Literally.

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CRC petitions U.S. to be recognized as branch of the Armed Forces
CRC petitions U.S. to be recognized as branch of the Armed Forces

The news led to massive laughter throughout Washington, DC. 

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Community Affairs Cop Brokers Peace Deal at BBQ; Wins Nobel Prize
Community Affairs Cop Brokers Peace Deal at BBQ; Wins Nobel Prize

Who knew a burger could do so much.

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IAB Outsources Command Center to Philippines; 1st Grade Detectives in Uproar
IAB Outsources Command Center to Philippines; 1st Grade Detectives in Uproar

The move came as a big surprise to many “investigators”.

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Newly Promoted Captain Actually Reinvents Wheel
Newly Promoted Captain Actually Reinvents Wheel

They said it couldn't be done. They were wrong.

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Hairbag Swag
Hairbag Tee (NEW!)
Hairbag Tee (NEW!)
25.00

**Ships with 2 free Hairbag pens** Our newest run of Hairbag Tees. “Boosting Morale, One Truth at a Time” slogan on the front, classic logo on the back. All sizes through 3XL available. Includes free shipping!

Hairbag Patch
Hairbag Patch
9.00

**Ships with 2 free Hairbag pens** You asked, we delivered. Velcro patch for your vest, cubicle, or anywhere a little hairbaggery is needed. PVC will not fade or unravel. Includes shipping!

Hairbag Coin
Hairbag Coin
15.00

**Ships with 2 free Hairbag pens** Quit buffing out with coins from every sub-sub-sub-sub-sub unit in your bureau. Get ours instead. You'll also be helping keep the site alive. Includes shipping!

Hairbag Tee (Old Design)
Hairbag Tee (Old Design)
25.00

**Ships with 2 free Hairbag pens** Only a few left in Small/Large/XL. Expose your inner Hairbag. Does not include clever quotes about sheep or punisher symbols. May not be suitable for those who have a burning desire to let the world know what they do for a living. HBT logo on the back. Includes shipping!

Hairbag Sticker (Pack of 3)
Hairbag Sticker (Pack of 3)
5.00

As requested! This pack of 3 is perfect anywhere you think HB belongs. Ships in a stamped envelope due to size and weight, so please be patient. Add another item for faster, tracked shipping via USPS First Class Mail.